Sometimes someone controls everything about you, And when they tell you that they just can't live without you, They ain't lyin', they'll take pieces of you.

Three posts in three days, a living record for me, I'd dare to guess. I've figured it out, too. I'm itching to do creative things while I'm away from uni. I don't mean Mona Lisa shit, but I'm used to having several different things to be getting on with most days at uni, having responsibilities with social arrangements and the like, or heading out filming with TV. Hence, I suppose, the old blogbabble activity shoots up when I'm back home most reguuularly.

Haven't even got all that much for you today. Went to Coral reef today, was epic. Am tired. Smell of chlorine, haven't done so in SO LONG! I really missed it, gunna get back into swimming at pompey if I can.

The fuck you looking at? My pirate ship. Its better than yours.

But yeah, so coral reef for those of you who don't know. IT HAS MASSIVE FUCKING PIRATE SHIP IN THE MIDDLE. Which, it goes without saying, makes it a far better swimming pool than most. I went on the old slides too, the medium speed was cool, I was like doot doot going pretty fast AND THEN I CAUGHT SPEED AND DID A WHOLE LOOP. And I mean, a whole loop. I span in an anti clockwise fashion around the whole tube. Fucking crazy. So then I went on the fastest one. I'm not even kidding when I say I think I saw the past and the distant future all at once, I broke the sound barrier. I hit Mach Three. If I hit that little lass off of that old speed awareness advert there would be a blood cloud and nothing more, no body to get back up again like a shitty puppet. What I'm trying to say is, I went down there pretty goddamn fast. 

 

Still ain't got shit on me

Also, I might be the only person to enjoy it, but that feeling when you lean your head on one side and the water up in there pops out is unlike any other. I have no idea why its quite so enjoyable but MY GOD it really is. 

It's gotten to the point where I'm talking about ear wetness. I'll leave again now. 

Before I go, here have this! Rizzle kicks doing an Ed Sheeran song with Ed Sheeran. Yep! If you've not seen it, you're doing yourself a disservice. I saw them both at the Hackney weekend SPOILERS! *I'll be talking about that soon*  And they were both bloody fantastic.

 

Poor lads can't put their caps straight. I'm too tired for clever jokes, fuck off.

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right

Congratulations Alcoholics Of The Future!

Just a wee one to say well done to me pals that went and did rite good on their old exams and that. I think most everyone got around or exactly what they wanted, and I couldn't be happier. You get to pay a whole tonne of money for the privilege of unsupervised, unrelenting drinking! Welcome! :D Seriously though, well done everyone. I know this year can't have been easy seeing other folk at uni and everything else that goes with it, but the biggest hurdles done with and WOOOOOOO! Prepare to have the next year fly by your face and not have any idea where it went.

This lady did it too well. 

This lad isn't doing it well enough. 

Aim for somewhere between the two. 

Go to some lectures.

Stay classy.

How I really feel people think reading mah blog.

I'm sorry for wasting your time Squirtle :(

Man you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow long. I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus.

Hello again!

I was stood in the shower (I'm sorry, you didn't need to know that) and I thought "By jove! I should write another blog post, I've not done it an awfully long time!" Shortly before adjusting my monocle and getting out of aforementioned shower, and here we are! I'd thought I hadn't posted in well over a year, completely forgetting all the photos and what not I put up at Christmas time, so that was a nice little thing to come back across, and it means its not QUITE such a mahussive space of time to cover, not that I would have made that much of an attempt to do so anyway, but there we go.

SO. Uhhhmm, I'm sat here a bit blank now. Too many things to say can be as bad as too few at times, I know that much. I'm off to Edinburgh again in the coming weeks! That's something to talk about. Thrilled, is what I am. I've been for 3 years now and I don't think I'll ever get bored. Seldom do you get a chance to see both all of your favourite comedians and some of the most peculiar human beings (and thats being generous) on the planet. No joke. I mean, the bloody celebrity big brother hasn't got a damn thing on the locals that crawl out of the woodwork come fringe festival time.

Edinburgh local

Popular comedian, Julian Clary 

I must admit to you all now that the fellow in the above picture is not in fact an Edinburgh local. I have pulled the wool over your eyes, yes I have. I have deceived and lied to you. In fact, he is the next topic of conversation. I should also mention, no, he is not me when I get older, my Dad, or any other relation. I'll wait for you finish laughing.

....

..

SO yeah, this bloke is none other than Joseph Stawinoga, not your average crazy old bloke, oh no, this is none other than "that crazy old bloke who lived on a roundabout for thirty years". He was considered an attraction to Wolverhampton and was delivered meals on wheels to his tent on the roundabout everyday. If you ask me, the man had it made. He lived rent free and had a lass deliver him grub everyday, again for nout. HE LIVED AS A KING. But! Here be the real kicker. At the time of Mr. Stawinoga's unfortunate departure from his green round turf, he left a legacy of THOUSANDS OF POUNDS in unclaimed pension money. So his long lost relatives got a tidy sum out of the blue. I guess its kind of like an obscure biological lottery and no one knows how many, if any, tickets they have. I hope I have a few :( Anyway, The council of Wolverhampton are putting up a bronze statue of the bloke and forever shall he stand, continuing to take up space and being covered in shit. Though, admittedly, from now on it'll be pigeon rather than his own. 

Anyways, I've slurred on enough for now. We'll see when I do another one, but a certain Mr. Oli Butler reminded me into another, and best of luck to him and anyone else in their results tomorrow! Here's a picture of Mo Farrah running from the Teletubbies. 

He's tubbie bye byeing right out of that shit.

OHAND, Have some music. I always give you music. This is no exception. Hopsin is absolutely fantastic, I've not heard anyone rap so true to the state of the world in an absolute age. Give it a listen, if you don't it really is your loss! Yo.

Peace out bitcheses, (And HAI LAUREN :3 )

You want Romeo, you're not worthyYou're cock-thirstyYou're nasty and probably got herpesSometimes the secret to find is to stop searchingTry a new formula, cause your last one's not working